Ah…Walking down memory lane. I don’t think there is one single individual on the face of this earth that hasn’t done that. Looking back and remembering the way things were. The smiles, laughter, tears, hopes and dreams; it is something that never grows old, even though we do.
Memories are things that just happen as we live life. As we pave a path for ourselves in this world, there are people, places, and things that occur, happen or take place in our lives that will go into the annals of our minds as memories. Some things we are happy to share, and other things we try to keep locked up to only ourselves or a very trusted close friend.
It’s funny how memories work. Sometimes it’s a song or a place that can just, out of the blue, throw us back down to remembering when. These memories are powerful. They can trigger tears, laughter and even fear from out of the depths of nowhere. Ever have those moments when you stop and wonder, “Where did that feeling or emotion come from?”
We all make our own memories. I remember my Dad always saying, “It’s your bed. You make it and you have to sleep in it.” He meant the kind of lifestyle that I was choosing to live was going to be the kind of memories I would have. I made some, not so good decisions, when I was younger, and some of the memories that I have are not very fun go back and walk through, but they are mine none the less. Your memories belong to you.
Memories are good. It’s good to walk down memory lane and think about those fun times with a very special person. Even bad times maybe good to go back and remember, so that you can heal from something that has happened, but it’s when we park in those memory halls, that we can get in trouble. Not just trouble for us, but for anyone around or near to us.
People who are haunted by an ugly or tragic past can be scared and maimed for the rest of their lives. It will affect every single aspect of their futures. Marriage, children, career, our very mental and physical condition can be thwarted out of control because of relentless memories from the past that continue to chase and pursue us.
I have a very close and dear friend who has a past that she has had a difficult time dealing with. She has been to counselors, talked with members of the clergy, and very good friends, but nothing has given her any relief.
There have been some very tragic events that have happened over the past five years, that have brought some of these ugly memories to the surface. They have over flowed into her marriage, children and friends. All these relationships have been affected by these memories.
Her mother suffered with pancreatic cancer for eighteen months, before she finally succumbed to very horrible decease. It was not an easy time for her or her family and it left some very negative memories in the halls of her mind.
Next her father, who was totally lost without his wife of fifty-five years, was constantly leaning on her for his very existence. He would call her sometimes fifteen or twenty times a day. This put a lot of stress and burden on her marriage. With some help from her husband, she carried the bulk of this load all by herself.
After about fifteen months from her mother’s death, her father had a massive heart attack and died, but her terrible ordeal was not yet over.
She had another friend who died of cancer and a niece who also contracted cancer, but she is on the recovering side. She is in her early thirties and is winning her battle with this dreadful decease.
Next a very close friend who has cancer and is not winning her battle. This is someone who she has known since she was in kindergarten. They grew up together and shared all of life together. They are not just friends, they are like sisters, and this one is going to really hurt. She is not expected to survive the week as I write this article.
I don’t know how many of you have been effected by cancer in your families, but to those who have, you know exactly what I’m talking about. I hate cancer. I wish I had a magic wand and could just go around and touch everyone with a cure for this decease that is from the pit of hell. My father died of lung cancer.
She really has not a a time to process all these ugly events in her life. She is a kind and giving person, who hates to see her family and friends suffer from anything, especially cancer, and I know it just is killing her inside, to see this entire thing take place, when all you can do is just try to make them as comfortable as possible.
My closing point in all this is the very thin line that we walk, when we stroll down those halls of our memory. It is so tempting to get lost in the good ones and try to erase the bad ones. It is so easy to pull up a chair and decide to park myself right there and forget the present that I’m living in. I can get very selfish when I stroll down that hall. It’s all about me and my memories. They belong to me.
Some people even talk and wish that they could go back to the past. They speak of how good things were back then. They carry pictures and constantly dream and look back at those times as if they were still there….to the determent of their spouse, children and people who love them right now. You see, these people were not a part of that past and by you always looking back… you never move forward with them. You hurt your relationship with them. You might as well be carrying a sign that says, “I don’t care about anyone here. I just wish I was back there.”
Memories are good and it is good to go walking down the hall of your memories, but be very careful. They can sometimes overwhelm you and start affecting your relationships with people here and now.
The past is the past. There is no guarantee of the future. The present is exactly that. It is a gift from God. Enjoy it and embrace it.